the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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