i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
COCAINE IS GR8
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
