she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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