What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
