I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
