he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
