Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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