I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
