Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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