please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
