Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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