We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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