I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
