Sry I called you an 8
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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