Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
