Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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