i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
