I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
