Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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