I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
