btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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