I will die if light touches me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize