Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
