Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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