I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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