I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
