You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
