just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
