We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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