That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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