a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
