You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i came on her dog
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
