You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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