sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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