so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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