We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
