$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
