shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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