Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
