The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
