Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
