I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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