We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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