He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hippo gnu deer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize