Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
