I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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