Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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