So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
