I just threw up on my dentist
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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