I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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