if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
