I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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