evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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