I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize