at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize