wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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