Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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