capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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