A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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