My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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