u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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