My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
