come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
