That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Welp...herpes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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